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BIF NAKED
The Garage, London
10 April 2006

Normally when you experience such a lame gig it's tempting to just not bother reviewing it. Last night The Garage experienced one of the lamest live performances I have ever witnessed. The fact it was a well-hyped “showcase gig” made the situation even worse.

On showcase was a Canuck (from Vancouver) woman, who is a “cold” vegan, called Bif Naked. She does pop-punk metally stuff of the type that is produced by Die So Fluid, Slunt, Crucified Barbara and many others.

Her record company is trying to launch this woman in the UK market; quite why I am not sure. On record she is pretty bog standard for the type of music she is doing. Live she is unimpressive and I am being very generous here.

Her on-stage ramblings chatter is moronic and barely coherent. She was fairly out of it the entire gig. Her voice is nothing special and she has virtually no stage presence. The fact that she and her band, well mostly her, butchered 'Nothing Else Matters' did not help matters.

To be fair, her all male band was pretty tight and put in a pretty good performance. They did a good job of carrying on regardless despite the sometimes tepid response from the audience and the relatively poor quality of the sound mix.

There were at least a few groans when she announced the band is touring with Alter Bridge (the remnants of Creed who are a far better band) this summer.

Bif Naked is a good example of why a bunch of tattoos and piercings plus a bit of attitude does not mean you can deliver the goods.

Review by Marty Dodge