Kelly Osbourne. Budding superstar? Precocious talent? Foul-mouthed rich kid?

Has there been any evidence on The Osbournes that Kelly (or Jack) might have any future in the music biz other than picking up Ozzy’s royalty cheques for the rest of their natural? Not that I’ve noticed. And this self-indulgent offering does nothing to suggest otherwise.

OK, you must have been on a different planet if the hauntingly beautiful reworking of Sabbath’s Changes hasn’t touched you. And it’s featured here in all its choral beauty. But is that worth the admission price?

Let’s start with the cover. Could this be the same privately schooled kid with bad lipstick we see on TV week-in/week-out? Kell looks almost sultry, almost sexy. But it’s a heavily digitised pic reminiscent of Warhol’s Marilyn. Turn to the inner cover for the untouched photos - uurgh - a fat kid in a bad wig (but at least the lippy is restrained for once!)

Which is more than can be said for the CD. As suspected Kelly has no voice to speak of. No talent to speak of. Attitude - plenty. That may have been enough when punk spewed raw talent around the globe in the late 70’s. And this album mimics the bubblegum pop/rock of the Blondie/Go-Gos era with marginally heavier overtones (as befits the daughter of the Prince of Darkness). But the discerning consumer of the 21st century demands a more polished product.

The basic 11 tracks feature Kell and her band Powerpack (what a naff name) strutting their ‘stuff’, supplemented by 4 live re-workings and the singles 'Papa Don’t Preach' and 'Changes' bolted on for good measure (and commercial appeal). On the opening track 'Disconnected' her vocals are mercifully lost in the mix and while Kell doesn’t embarrass as a punk imitator - particularly on the live tracks, she would be well advised not to audition for Pop Idol until she’s had a bit more vocal coaching. The band, as you might imagine, are proficient but entirely unimaginative.

If 'Changes' tempts you to indulge, take my advice - buy the single. ‘Sharrrron!! Turn that f**king racket off!!!’

**

Review by Pete Whalley

Changes
© 2003 Sanctuary. All rights reserved.

***** Out of this world | **** Pretty damn fine |
*** OK, approach with caution unless you are a fan |
** Instant bargain bin fodder | * Ugly. Just ugly